Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
