3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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