Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
