Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
