they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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