i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
