Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So apparently I’m into choking now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
