Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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