guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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