If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
