I think i sorta joined a cult last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
