sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
