A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
