What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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