Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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