Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
