I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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