do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
