We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
