God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
