No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
