after a month anything with tits is on the radar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
