oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
