I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
