This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
