Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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