Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
