Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
