Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
