woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
