one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
