So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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