Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
