Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
