it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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