she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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