You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
