why didn't you poke me back
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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