You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
