We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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