Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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