i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
