stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
