words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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