The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
