we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
