We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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