I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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