So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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