gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
