Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
