i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
