Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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