I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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