all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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