I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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